Friday, December 2, 2016

Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace (or, How much I hate Jar-Jar)




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Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace is the 1st film in the Star Wars Saga. But, it is the fourth Star Wars film to be released (Director George Lucas released the films in the following order: 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3, 7).  Not only is it the first film in the saga, it’s the first worst film.
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The film centers around the origin of a juvenile slave on the planet Tatooine. The slave, Anakin Skywalker, was conceived by his mother through the Force (don’t ask… I don’t know). To make a long (and boring) story short, some Jedi, Jar-Jar Binks (worst character ever) and a disguised, rogue Queen unearth young Anakin when they make an emergency landing on Anakin’s home planet. The Jedi are able to free him from slavery, through a bet on a Pod Race (because Anakin is Force-Sensitive and his Midi-Chlorians are off the charts). Then the whole gang go back to Naboo, to free the Queen’s planet from some ugly aliens (who want too much money) and their despicable Battle Droids. Then, Darth Maul (a Sith apprentice with Yellow Teeth, crown-like horns, and red full-body tattoos) shows up and slaughters the older Jedi, only to have the other younger Jedi eradicate Darth Maul.


(P.S. I really hate Jar-Jar) 

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