In Class Discussion

Okay, this has been bothering me since last week. Maybe I'm being too "sensitive", maybe I have a point to my madness. During the women of animations class discussion, the subject of rape came up. And while many were trying to be sympathetic towards rape victims, the problem is that one cannot actually feel the hurt, pain, or burden that those victims feel.

A person can feel sad for a victim of such assault but one can never feel the actually pain until they have been in that situation. (And I hope that no one will ever have to be in that position.)

This is the problem I had with the discussion, while we try to be sympathetic, we end up trying to relate our personal situations with those with a background of being sexually assaulted. We try to speak for those who don't wish to speak up. Because we think we can relate, but the problem is, not all situations are relatable.

The worst thing people have ever said to me when they try to help or be sympathetic to my own situations is: "same" or "I feel that". When it's quite the opposite. People think they are helping if they can somehow relate to the opposite opinion, but the problem is they only make the situation worse.

Sometimes all a person needs is to be able to be mad, or upset, and maybe (just for a second) unrelatable. Healing doesn't always come from sympathy or understanding, sometimes it just comes from listening and a willing heart.